"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
