I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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