Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize