Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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