There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize