eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
