I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
