Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hippo gnu deer
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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