when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
