Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize