shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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