so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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