I'm really into asian looking animals
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Sorry my hands just texted you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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