Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
