so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
