guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
