My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
