i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
