Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
