I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
