when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
