WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
