I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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