Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
