Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
