i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
