Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i think i have herpe
just one?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
