oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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