the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
