Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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