is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
