She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize