last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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