Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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