Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
