All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
