after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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