Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
