the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
