Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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