Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
