some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
