The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
