took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
