its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
