worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
