Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
