my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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