thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
