she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
