first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
