I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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