barbara walters just said penis...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
