at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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