This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
