Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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