you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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