dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
