did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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