it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
