i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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