Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
His hands were made for my vagina.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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