Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
These tits shall not be calmed
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