okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude i'm inner monologue high
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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