DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
