I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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