You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
