He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
