I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
